What if you could change the world?

What if?

*You don't have to live to work, be stressed out about money 24/7 and miss out on your family due to "obligations" of life? The rat race has an exit and you can take it. *There is no one perfect diet for humanity. *Hell is not a "place", it's a state of mind, just like heaven. "God" is not a guy in the sky, nor is he even a "He". God is you and me. The energy, the force, the consciousness that unites us all. God is the great I AM. God IS LIFE and pure positive LOVE.*There are really only 2 choices in life; Fear and Love. And at every moment, you're choosing the path of one or the other. Choose wisely.*Duality, separation and everything we consider "real" is just an illusion.*Thoughts really are the beginning spark of creating our own reality. Once you add in the emotion, that is where the real creative power comes in. You will find what you look for. What you focus on will intensify and the Law of Attraction is very real, yet grossly misunderstood and misrepresented by many in "new thought/spiritual" communities. You really do reap what you sow. 
*Jesus really did exist and was a way seer, a man who truly understood what it is to be Spirit having a human experience but would agree that while the bible does share many truths, it is not the one and only infallible word of the one an only "true" god and was never intended to be taken literally and used as a weapon against the masses. 
*Democrats and Republicans are 2 wings of the same bird and that bird is sick and dying. Anarchy is really a path to peace and not violent chaos as stigmatized. 
*Our children are gifts and not property and when trusted, respected and given a good example at home, make very good decisions for themselves at developmentally appropriate levels and do not require a system of rules, rewards and punishments.
*You were spanked and you're really NOT fine. And if you ARE, what could your fullest potential have been if you were shown loving guidance, equality and respect without physical force or aggression at such a young developing age? 
*Public school is not required for learning and in fact, can damage the natural learning drive and desire in most children as well as instills an internal drive to conform to outside authority rather than trusting themselves and their innate guidance system. Essentially, over time they learn WHAT to think, not HOW to think. 
*Sobriety really IS possible and happens every day. I get the joy and reward of seeing it often in many, and am grateful.
*We really weren't born dirty, shameful, sinful creatures but all of the primary paradigms have instilled this " original sin" into us by way of conditioning us out of our natural state and connection to each other and "god" and thus, as adults we are essentially "programmed" to function as modern slaves rather than the powerful creators that we truly are. Furthermore, if we became conscious and tapped into our creative force and started using our power for good, than we would cease subconsciously creating more of what we do not want.
*We really CAN change the world. And it starts within our own hearts and minds. 
What if?
*The human experience is like a video game and there is no annihilation upon death. You always have free will and can choose to stay at home base or choose a different character and play the game again. You are evolution and it never stops.
What if everything you believe is true and once you realize that you have the power to change your beliefs to be more empowering and joyful, you realize that you have the power to change your entire LIFE?
What if?

Single Parenting: To Work or Not To Work. . .

I was a single mom for 14 yrs and worked full time (at some points 2 jobs) to "take care of my own children" because I didn't want to be judged as a "welfare mom" and have other people pay my bills. That said, in doing so I felt I missed out on the entire childhood of my two older sons. I always felt like I was stuck in a life that wasn't natural to me. I hated it. And my misery overflowed onto my kids. I wanted nothing more than to be home with my boys, and not to mention the amount of stress I had from having a high stress level job and then going home to do all the household tasks, trying to make sporting events etc. really made it hard to practice loving connections or even have TIME to do anything other than go crazy. 

It was hard. SO hard. 

If I could go back, I wouldn't worry so much about having a lot of MONEY to "take care of my kids", I would learn ways to live minimally and meet the basic necessities while spending as much TIME with my kids as possible. Maybe I would have went to school or found a way to work from home. . . I don't know for sure, but I DO know that I wouldn't have worried so much about what everyone else thought about what I "should" or "should not" do. I would have followed my intuition instead of what others told me was "right". I would have listened to my kids more and tried to be more aware of what my children needed emotionally and biologically, understanding that is as important as the need for food, shelter and clothing. When I was a working single mother, I was guilty of judging those mom's who lived off of "welfare", child support etc., mainly because I was SO envious of them having time with their babies but pissed because they couldn't care less about being with them. I felt they had NO idea how lucky they were. They thought *I* was the lucky one because I "wasn't having to deal with kids all day". . . and "Got to get out of the house". What I discovered over those years was that while a working mom might not be "depending" on anyone else to SUPPORT them financially, they ARE depending on someone else (friend, family or daycare) to essentially RAISE their child. So which path is truly "best" for their child? That is not for ME to decide for someone else. Let's find ways to "support" single parents instead of judging whether they choose one path or the other. And don't think for one second that having to make a choice either direction is EASY! It's not. No matter what path you choose there are going to be sacrifices. Being a single parent is hard enough without people assuming they can walk in their shoes and make it look any better. Empowering parents with tools to be the best they can be is much more productive than tossing out opinions and shaming those who walk a different path. 

This post isn't an opinion piece on whether or not I support the welfare system. It's not about that. It's about us tearing each other apart rather than building one another up. It's about seeking to implement real solutions to the epidemic of broken families so that parents feel empowered rather than judged and ultimately, connecting with our children so that they have a better foundation and have their needs met not just physically, but emotionally.  

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” - Carl Jung

Pride and Prejudice

I've been seeing a lot of meme's lately on social media about being "proud to be an XYZ" and as usual, I have tried to ignore the ignorance, but after seeing the movie "The Boy In The Striped Pajamas" yesterday with my son, I cannot ignore it anymore.

Let's take a look at the definition of the word "Pride".

"Pride: A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired."

George Carlin hit the nail on the head when he said. . . “Pride should be reserved for something you achieve or obtain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth. Being Irish isn't a skill... it's a fucking genetic accident. You wouldn't say I'm proud to be 5'11"; I'm proud to have a pre-disposition for colon cancer.” - George Carlin


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeWMtTDy8nI



Please. Let's stop the hoopla of genetic pride. Announcing that you're "proud to be an XYZ", (american/peruvian, black female/white male, heterosexual/homosexual etc.), is like saying "I'm proud to be a brunette with blue eyes and a size 8.5 shoe." It's ridiculous. You had zero participation in ANY of those things. You didn't EARN your genetics, you were BORN with them! As George Carlin says, if ya wanna be HAPPY to be an XYZ, fine! But Proud??? If you must be proud, than be proud of the kind of parent, friend, sibling or employee you are. Take pride in being a person that shows compassion to others, gives to the less fortunate, makes an effort to work on yourself to be better every day or proud to stand up for others who don't have (or haven't yet found) their voice. But remember to take your pride with a dose of humility. We all look the same inside and at the core of our genetic makeup we are ALL human. I know it feels good to "belong" to a group, but group think is one of our most dangerous enemies. If you really want to fight "terrorism", start by ridding yourself of herd mentality, group thinking and following the lies of "Us vs Them" and start thinking for yourself but not only of yourself. Recognize yourself in others but not just others who look like YOU. And instead of pointing out differences and creating superiority, notice all of the similarities we share. We ALL want and deserve to have peace, love, joy and freedom. We ALL deserve to live.

I leave you with this. . .

"The Lard Is My Shepard, I Shall Not Salt!"

I am SO sick of the Fundamentalist Foodies. . . the Nutritional Crusaders. . . Diet Deities and all things related to telling someone else what they should or should not eat. Not everyone who eats in a specific way is "dieting", has disordered thinking or is "wrong" just because they choose to add/remove certain foods. If you eat a certain way, be it Paleo, Vegan, Vegetarian, Raw or XYZ and it makes you feel GOOD, have at it!!! This is not the same as eating a certain way because you're attached to a label and ignore negative biofeedback to stay true to your chosen "way". That's when it becomes unhealthy. If you're following a labeled diet and you feel like crap, then do something else that makes you feel better. Also, ALL dieting for weightloss lowers metabolism if you're in a negative energy balance, so if you feel like shit and are experiencing hypothyroid symptoms, EAT MORE FOOD. Starving yourself, no matter WHAT foods you eat is NEVER healthy. If you choose to exclude/include sugar, meat, pasta... poop... I don't really care! What goes in your belly is really none of my business, and it's not anyone else's either. Sharing information about health and nutrition is one thing, but what sends me over the edge is watching someone who has NEVER been obese or had health problems tell someone else who IS how to not be obese or have health problems simply because they tried "XYZ" and it worked for them without any problems, so it should work for you too!" I'm over it. Down with Diet Dogma. Be it the guru's who are making money off of desperate dieters, the ones who claim to not wanna be gurus OR the ones who judge ALL people who don't eat ALL foods as "dumb dieters".

Generalizations suck!

Eat, drink and be merry!

Gender Warfare...

Maybe it's because I birthed 3 sons, the oldest being almost 20, and have experienced first hand that all "groups" of people are oppressed and/or exploited in one way or another, but I'm getting a little sick of the feminazi bullshit. I am NOT a feminist. I am a LIVING BEING'IST. ALL people (and animals) deserve to be treated with respect. Men and women are BOTH victims of rape an sexual abuse. Men AND women are both responsible for raising their children. Men AND women are both guilty of treating the opposite sex as we've been conditioned to treat them until we become conscious of doing otherwise. I do not think in groups. I do not subscribe to labels. Just because my granddaughter likes to dress up as a princess doesn't mean that she's being subjected to "gender roles"... maybe she just likes dressing up like a fucking princess! She also likes to go fishing with her daddy and play in the dirt! Going to extremes to the opposite end of the pole can be just as unhealthy (and annoying) IMO as the "other side" that I see many people bashing! Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate. . . especially if you're just going off of someone ELSE'S ideas of what is "right and wrong" or emotionally attached to a label. And please don't assume that I am a feminist or any other "ist" just because I promote many of the same styles of living that they might. . . like peaceful parenting, equal rights, humanism etc. If I am ANYTHING, I'm a humanist. (But even that means different things to different people.) I do know that I am sick of all the "Us vs Them" gender warfare, regardless as to which side one plays.

Are you a member of the Comparison Cult?

I don't often share our personal experiences with natural learning anymore online due to privacy issues and harsh judgment, but this might help some of my fellow Natural Learning families, so I'm sharing. 

My son, almost 8, has exhibited some mild dyslexia and has been considered "slow" by outside family members when it comes to reading. Yet, his math skills have been nearly impeccable since age 5 without ever even opening a math book. This is another reason I am SO very grateful that he is given the autonomy, encouragement and support to learn at his own pace without being forced, which most often leads to further frustration and then feelings of failure, which, in the end, breeds apathy towards learning and low self worth. By remaining steadfast and not caving to outside opinions, we have continued to support him unconditionally and he has taught himself to read more and more by way of his passions. He may not be reading novels or even books, because he's simply not interested in that right now... but every time he reads a new word he is further internally motivated by his own excitement of accomplishing something that someone else has judged him for not being able to do. Every time he goes to type in a title on Netflix or Youtube, he is asking for help less and less. Every time we leave the house, he's pointing out words all over billboards and signs. He isn't in the back seat disconnected from the world around him, he is actively seeking out information from all over the place! SO many people hold "reading" as the pinnacle of worthiness in education from such a young age, but if the world ended today, how many books my son has read is NOT going matter... what matters is that he has LIVED a happy life pursuing his own passions with the full support and lack of judgment of his parents and learning everything he's needing along the way. Today he has shown drastic improvement in the dyslexia, so do I say that my son is dyslexic? No. He is just learning to read at his own pace as his own brain is ready and that might look different than someone else's time frame and standards. 

From the linked article below:



“My perspective, after 40 years of working on this entity we call ‘reading disability’ or ‘dyslexia,’ is that we need to be thinking of it as a variant of normal, rather than an abnormality,” said Martha Bridge Denckla, a research scientist at the Kennedy Krieger Institute, professor at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, and member of the Dana Alliance for Brain Initiatives. She suggests reading can be better understood as a talent, a biologically bestowed gift that is not doled out equally to everyone.

“There is variability at the highest level of the brain for a whole bunch of different things we call talents,” said Denckla. “We accept completely that there are people who do not have whatever the neurological basis for musical talent may be–we just say they don’t have that ‘ear’ for music. Well, people can also be born with an untalented ‘ear’ for the speech sounds of language, which makes it very difficult to connect with an alphabetic system and be proficient at reading.”



Let's stop comparing children to arbitrary standards AND each other. It's very damaging psychologically and frankly, it's rude. I wouldn't walk up to an adult at a gathering and quiz them on their knowledge, so why do we think it's ok to do this to children? Appreciate them for who they are and not how they can "perform", children are not here to entertain or please adults and are just as worthy of their intellectual property and privacy of mind as we are.

http://www.dana.org/media/detail.aspx?id=13124

Obese does not = worthless, unhealthy or lazy.

Dear Fat Shaming Meme's:

I see you in my newsfeed on a daily basis. It's like there's no escaping you! No matter how many pages I "unlike" or how many more positive body image pages I DO "like", there you are... shaming people into being "healthy". Well, the next time you feel like saying something like this: 

"You can feel sore today or sorry tomorrow. You choose." 

*Consider this: 
*That's interesting. I'm not sore OR sorry.

"I don't have time to exercise" is the adult version of "The dog ate my homework."

*So now adults who choose not to exercise in blocks of time are lazy liars just like all of those bad evil little children. Got it. *eyeroll*

"Do not reward yourself with food. You're not a dog."

*My bad, I thought food was a sustenance of LIFE. Some thing to be grateful for. Many people even bless it before putting it into their mouth! But thank you for showing me that it is actually a product of SINFUL reward and by equating food (even my beloved red peppers!) with reward seals my godless fate in hell for all eternity. . . . with twinkies. And dogs.

"Someone who is busier than you is running right now."

*That's cool. I raised 3 boys while holding down a highly stressful job, never received child support nor government assistance, paid all of my own bills and provided my sons with everything I possibly could while being physically, emotionally and psychologically abused by a meth addict for 14 yrs., buried my father to cancer and had 4 surgeries. I finally "retired" after getting remarried so that I could actually FOCUS on being a mom and trying to give my sons (even the grown ones) the attention they deserve. But it's totally awesome that you can run X amount of miles. GOOD JOB!!!  I hate running. Maybe since you're SO much busier than I am, I could help you keep up with your laundry, housework and cooking?

Now look, I am not advocating anything here other than NOT shaming. If you enjoy rigorous exercise and dieting etc. (notice I said ENJOY), than KEEP DOING IT! I'm happy for you!!! But don't assume/insinuate that whoever doesn't, is a worthless pile of lazy lying fat. There is SO much more that goes into health and obesity that what most are even aware of. Shame does not motivate people to greatness and you cannot punish someone into wellness. Instead of shaming and assuming, try relating and encouraging without purpetuating myths and condemnation. 

It's time for children to be respected.

It amazes me how our culture acceptably treats children. Publicly shaming them on street corners forcing them to hold signs that tell the world their "mistakes", screaming at them when they don't conform, using physical force to demand submission and ordering them around like slaves, using carrots on sticks to achieve desired performance like they're animals being trained in a circus. Most people have no problem treating children this way yet would NEVER allow themselves or another adult to be. Parents who bully their kids then have kids who bully kids at school, then punish their kids for treating other people how THEY have been treated at home and wonder why we have a bullying epidemic! Then they watch the news at night and say "Damn punks! If that kids parents had beat his ass more, he wouldn't be doin' that shit!"

Oh yes, I'm sure it's because they weren't abused ENOUGH!!

We can deny it all we want, but treating children, the most fragile among us, in this way is WRONG. Yes, you can parent however you CHOOSE and it doesn't have to be the same way I DO, HOWEVER, we do NOT get the luxury of "choosing" to use physical force or bulling any adult in our culture without legal action so why is it ok for CHILDREN??? Instead of seeking quick fixes to meet the needs of the adults, we should be seeking to educate ourselves to be the best parents we can be and loving our children in the way the DESERVE. Just like WE all deserved. The cycles of abuse will never end unless we end it. Is it easy to parent in more conscious, peaceful and connected manner if you were not raised in that way? No. It takes determination, trial and error and a lot of forgiving yourself in the process. Parenting is NEVER "easy". But if we truly want to see a change in our world, than it's high time we start at the roots and show the children that they deserve better. We ALL do. They don't deserve to become the product of our OWN damage. We are worthy of healing and they are worthy of respect. I make mistakes EVERY day. I am NOT a perfect parent. But as Maya Angelo said... "When we know better, we do better."

It's time for us to do better. It's time for us to heal, to love and forgive ourselves and It's time to treat children with the equal respect and love they deserve.

I'll see you at home...

I have discovered that my greatest source of suffering is the contrast between wanting SO badly for everyone to enjoy this life as much as I do and them choosing (consciously or subconsciously) not to do so. I desire so strongly for everyone to see and feel the wonder, beauty, peace, love, joy, freedom and connection with All that Is. To have a deep sense of trust in the universe and its magnificence. I wish everyone could know that life is as wonderful as we make it. That if we are walking in the dark, we can pull out the flashlight at anytime and find our way back to the the fully lit path. 
I am always so humbled when I think about my "past" life... the one I was living until around age 30. I remember much of my twenties hating life SO much that I begged for my life to be taken... yet I could never do it myself because I had an even stronger desire to stay with my children. I would feel so guilty for leaving them behind, yet I felt guilty for not being able to be with them as much as I wanted and they needed due to having to work all the time as the sole provider, so I was deeply conflicted. 
I stayed in a cynical state of existence for many years, choking on the bitterness towards those in my past who had hurt me. Believing that some guy in the sky was punishing me for breaking his rules even though it was mostly unintentional and I was trying SO HARD to do everything right. I didn't know anyone who had lived through all of MY lifes' circumstances who were still able to be sober and take care of their children and responsibilities as a single parent without any assistance. I was angry. I was resentful and I felt that I could lose what inkling of hope I had left at any moment. Not only had I been abused by those who were supposed to love me, but I abused myself. I cut and I starved, and I binged and even begged my abuser to stay and "love" me, essentially begging for more abuse. I spent many years believing I was a victim of an abuser. A victim to someone else's addiction. A victim to an abusive childhood. A victim to poverty as a single mom. A victim to bosses who used me, knowing that I had no other options. A victim to society's judgment at every turn. A victim to a world that is cold, dark and selfish.



It wasn't until around age 30 that I realized I was only a victim of my own mind. 
I realized that the only person I could change, was me. Eventually, I learned that I couldn't change me without changing my beliefs. And I couldn't change my beliefs unless I was willing to let go of the old and explore the new without fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what I might find and fear of what anyone else thought about my exploration. I had to stop believing that life is just this place to live out a slow painful death while a "god" watched from above as I gasped for air all the while expecting me to worship him for how GOOD he is. I had to change my thinking in order to change my life, but more accurately, I had to change my FEELINGS in order to change my life. I get to choose how I feel. ALWAYS. 
Today, I am living a totally different life. A life full of so much good that it brings tears to my eyes just to think about it. A life that I wish so badly that others could experience and share in the gratitude and deep peace that is present in knowing that we are not victims of circumstance. Or at least, we don't HAVE to be. So you see, I don't suffer when I see someone I love struggling simply because they're struggling, I suffer simply because they do not know that they don't have to. (And understanding that I too, have control over my own suffering). But in most cases, like my own experience, they cannot hear me even when I tell them so. And they're not always meant to, at least maybe not in this moment. For they have their own journey of the soul and it would be wrong for me to deny them that experience. If I hadn't went through so much darkness in my earlier life, than the light I have today would feel so bland. I would be robbed of being able to recognize just how fucking awesome my life is today! My own evolution has not only taught me but proven to me without a shadow of a doubt that the Universal Laws are at work 24/7 whether we acknowledge and believe in them or not. That we are the creators of our own reality every second of every day. That we came here for expansion and without contrast there would be none. We could not evolve if there was nothing to evolve FROM. That yes, sometimes life is hard and there is pain and suffering, but how we choose to feel and get through those times can be what makes or breaks our spirit.



T'is our own choice what path we choose to take to find our way back home, but know this: No matter what path you DO choose, the All is supporting you every step of the way and you cannot stay focused on your own path if you are busy looking over and judging someone else's. Would you drive your car down the road while looking into the lane next to you and expect it to be a joyous ride, arriving safely at your destination? Of course not. Stay focused on your own path... and even when others try to steal your joy and bring you over to their side of the street as they drive down that dark alley, you don't have to follow them, you don't have to get in their car and begging them to get in yours is likely to cause you to crash. You don't have to lose hope or give up on them. You can simply look over, smile and wave and say.... "I guess your map is different than mine. Good luck! I love you and I'll see you at home."