Meet Me Beyond the Field...

I was thinking about Peace today...

What if Peace isn't the act of chronic kindness and self sacrifice, but balancing and embracing the full spectrum of human emotions with empathy?

What if Peace isn't the act of never raising our voice or always bending over backwards to be politically correct, so as to not offend others, but speaking our truth authentically and allowing others the space to do the same?

What if Peace isn't wrapping up our truth in a big pretty sugarcoated bow just to avoid being perceived as "impolite" or "creating conflict"? What if instead, we stop resisting and being afraid of who we truly are and allow our full Humanness to reveal Itself in the present moment? What if we accept ourselves just as we are?

What if Peace isn't the absence of anything, but the acceptance of all that is?

What if Peace is simply the state of neutrality and non-judgment, with no expectations or attachments; observing and allowing ourselves to be fully human and knowing at our core that that is the space where Divinity lives, waiting for us to come home?

What if Peace isn't about crucifying the ego (Note the metaphorical correlation between Jesus the Human being crucified, but resurrecting into eternal life), but embracing it as part of the whole and realizing it is necessary to have for the human experience? By shouting "crucify" to the ego, we are in resistance to a part of ourselves and that is where we suffer... in the disconnect.  We cannot have the human experience without an ego. Ego is the emotional aspect of The All, the "Mind of God". Ego is simply an earthsuit we choose to put on in order to experience what we are. People will say, "So you mean we're sad and angry and violent? That doesn't sound peaceful or spiritual and certainly doesn't sound like GOD!" But we cannot experience Peace without turmoil, love without hate or joy without despair. The full spectrum of emotions are what give us the ability to create and FEEL! Otherwise, how would we even know what joy is if we didn't first experience pain? How would we find gratitude for all "the good" if we first hadn't experienced "the bad". Peace is in the non-judgment of what is.

It is said in Christianity that Jesus was fully human and fully Divine, and yet even he told us we would do greater than he. That we too are created in the image of our Creator. In Hebrews, it talks of Jesus taking on the human nature in order to experience Humanness with empathy and compassion. He could not have done this if he didn't take on the Human Nature, which is the ego part of the Self. Jesus was the Creator experiencing Itself as Human, and blasphemy be damned, SO ARE WE.

Peace for ME is accepting who I AM; the Creator (call it what you wish) manifesting Itself in me as Human for the purpose of experience and expansion. This is Evolution. It's Knowledge becoming Wisdom. Knowledge is an accumulation of data, based on someone else's perception, something you have, something you hold. Wisdom is experiential, something you've done, it's what you ARE. You cannot claim truth of anything you have not personally experienced, even if it is claimed "a scientific FACT", for you are still ultimately taking someone else's word for it. And even IF something has been shown to be "scientifically proven", we can look at the Double Slit experiment and hopefully admit to ourselves that the role of the observer affects the outcome. This is why the only Absolute Truth that exists, is that Absolute Truth is being perceived relatively and subjectively by each individual, and all perceptions are ultimately the collective perception of the One Creator, which is you and me, we are the great I Am. We truly are a vessel, the lens for the Creator / Source / God / Universe to experience Itself, FULLY! There is nothing that is really unknown, only that not yet experienced. The more we resist who we truly are, the more suffering we are bound to endure. (We are 'bound' to suffer through our resistance of what is.)

The more we seek within and walk the path of Self discovery, the more we awaken to peace.

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other' doesn't make any sense."

-Mevlana Jelaluddin Rumi - 13th century

Peeling Potatoes

It's been a little while since I've blogged. I've been taking an extended break from social media in order to reground myself and focus on some major life changes going on this last couple of months. Normally I would share my personal experience in hopes of helping someone going through the same thing, but much of it is just too personal and sacred to share. This last couple of months have been well, . . . deeply painful and wretched.

Embracing more of my shadow and welcoming it into the light is not an easy transition. The shadow is not always so willing to join my spirit in the dance of life as lived in joyful abundance. Recently I realized I was hanging onto relationships that were toxic to me and ultimately to my family as a whole. Ending relationships, particularly familial ones, is very challenging. I did much soul searching and shadow work before making a final decision, but realized it is a decision I have been putting off for many years and I knew long ago what needed to be done, it is only by "obligation" to societal standards that I didn't end it when I should have. I ended one relationship which gave way to transforming another. Oh, sweet alchemy!

Once I ended this toxic relationship, within 2 weeks I became very ill. It was brutal. I have never been so sick in all of my life and spent the first 24 hrs feeling hijacked by my body as experienced it rid itself of major toxicity. Chronic vomiting left me dehydrated and exhausted at a level I have never felt before. I thought I was dying. After a few days of recovery, I realized that I had. The old had washed away and I had become new. I was reborn. Resurrected. I recognized the deep symbolism between the physical and metaphysical that was occurring in my experience and after a lot of rest and fluids, I felt so good and much gratitude for it all.

I am so deeply in awe of the All that it often leaves me speechless. As I sit here in my apartment, I hear the breeze blowing the trees just outside my window, the birds chirping, the maintenance men running a saw, the wind chimes hanging on my patio made of seashells and I cannot help but feel so blessed. I could easily shift my focus onto all that is seemingly going "wrong" in my life at the moment, but who wants to create more of that? Focus is everything. It's not sticking our head in the sand being Pollyanna and pretending that things aren't really happening; It's using our focus INTENTIONALLY. We have a choice.

I am so grateful to have the freedom to choose my focus and to do so with clear intention, knowing that what I choose to focus on in my experience is what I will continue to see. Both good and bad. And when I can go further and stop judging these experiences as one or the other and know that it is ALL part of a greater good. . . a higher purpose. . . the evolution of the whole. . .  than suffering loses all of its power and essentially ceases to exist. We get to choose. And having the freedom to choose our thoughts, which is the root of all judgments and feelings, is where the true freedom lies. What if we exercised our freedom and chose not to think at all? That's taking it even a step further and where meditation is often touted as a panacea of all! To stop thought means we go from doing to Being. To tap into the great "I AM" that is within and through out us all. To be the observer, not attaching ourselves to anything.... sights, sounds, feelings... To just BE with what is. This is living in the NOW.

This reminds me of a great quote by one of my favorite teachers. So, I will say Namaste and leave you with this. . .

"Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen Spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts

You have the innate right to NOT remain silent!!

Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I speak my truth come hell or high water. 

I do not like being in situations where I feel that my authenticity is being compromised by having to "keep my mouth shut". This is THE most painful thing a person could do to me. . . my own personal form of torture. When I see dishonesty and manipulation going on at a level that most people would not even recognize, it INFURIATES me to have to sit by and watch. I have tried to "trust the process" and let karma work itself out, and I KNOW that it will, HOWEVER, I can no longer remain silent if and when Spirit tells me to speak. THIS (in my opinion) is what the Bible was referring to in Mark 3:29 in regards to blaspheming the Holy Spirit and it being an unforgivable sin. Going against our inner voice is deeply painful and has many ill side effects. Also, by continuing to ignore that inner voice, over time it fades to a level of seemingly non-existence, thus we end up in our own personal hell, unable to forgive ourselves. I refuse to live in that space.

Everyone always says "Honesty is the best policy." but nobody really seems to want REAL HONESTY. It's hard. I get it. It can be very uncomfortable and cause us to look at the darkest parts of ourselves and others. But when we shy away from confrontation out of fear, we dishonor the Spirit within us and feed the shadow, which only gives it more power, both in our individual lives and collective culture. So how do we integrate our shadow selves, (the "darker" side, the "alter-ego", the "inner-bitch") into real life situations without allowing it to take control, creating more chaos and ultimately being counter-productive? 

Well, we start by not suppressing our voice of truth to begin with. It's allowing it to sit there, just under the skin... simmering... to the point it boils over and we can no longer control its behavior that gives our shadow such a bad rep! 

How would our lives be different if we honored our inner voice by speaking our truth without any attachments to others reactions? Now, please don't confuse this with me advocating walking around being a complete asshole, talking down to others and then dressing it in a blanket called "authenticity" and "listening to Spirit". Spirit isn't an asshole, but it IS honest and sometimes we don't like what we hear. Spirit guides us in truth on behalf of the highest good for all involved, even if it doesn't seem so at first. Often times our speaking the truth is a catalyst that leads to other puzzle pieces falling together and ultimately, creates a beautiful manifestation for all that is. Remember Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Now, many of you know that I am not a literal Bible believing fundamentalist Christian, but I know truth when I feel it. I will address the "gender" of my Higher Power in another post, but for now, my point is that I DO trust the process, knowing that every situation is playing out for the highest good of all, BUT I also have to honor my own personal role in this process by honoring the Spirit of Truth within ME! Remaining silent and reserved on the sidelines, hoping and waiting for it all to pass, is not living an authentic life, is NOT honoring Spirit and in fact, may very well hinder the process all together by creating more chaos and pain for all involved. 

So, today I am going to start doing my very best to honor Spirit as well as allow my shadow the space for its voice to be heard BEFORE it turns into the raging bitch who can't control her temper!! 

What if you could change the world?

What if?

*You don't have to live to work, be stressed out about money 24/7 and miss out on your family due to "obligations" of life? The rat race has an exit and you can take it. *There is no one perfect diet for humanity. *Hell is not a "place", it's a state of mind, just like heaven. "God" is not a guy in the sky, nor is he even a "He". God is you and me. The energy, the force, the consciousness that unites us all. God is the great I AM. God IS LIFE and pure positive LOVE.*There are really only 2 choices in life; Fear and Love. And at every moment, you're choosing the path of one or the other. Choose wisely.*Duality, separation and everything we consider "real" is just an illusion.*Thoughts really are the beginning spark of creating our own reality. Once you add in the emotion, that is where the real creative power comes in. You will find what you look for. What you focus on will intensify and the Law of Attraction is very real, yet grossly misunderstood and misrepresented by many in "new thought/spiritual" communities. You really do reap what you sow. 
*Jesus really did exist and was a way seer, a man who truly understood what it is to be Spirit having a human experience but would agree that while the bible does share many truths, it is not the one and only infallible word of the one an only "true" god and was never intended to be taken literally and used as a weapon against the masses. 
*Democrats and Republicans are 2 wings of the same bird and that bird is sick and dying. Anarchy is really a path to peace and not violent chaos as stigmatized. 
*Our children are gifts and not property and when trusted, respected and given a good example at home, make very good decisions for themselves at developmentally appropriate levels and do not require a system of rules, rewards and punishments.
*You were spanked and you're really NOT fine. And if you ARE, what could your fullest potential have been if you were shown loving guidance, equality and respect without physical force or aggression at such a young developing age? 
*Public school is not required for learning and in fact, can damage the natural learning drive and desire in most children as well as instills an internal drive to conform to outside authority rather than trusting themselves and their innate guidance system. Essentially, over time they learn WHAT to think, not HOW to think. 
*Sobriety really IS possible and happens every day. I get the joy and reward of seeing it often in many, and am grateful.
*We really weren't born dirty, shameful, sinful creatures but all of the primary paradigms have instilled this " original sin" into us by way of conditioning us out of our natural state and connection to each other and "god" and thus, as adults we are essentially "programmed" to function as modern slaves rather than the powerful creators that we truly are. Furthermore, if we became conscious and tapped into our creative force and started using our power for good, than we would cease subconsciously creating more of what we do not want.
*We really CAN change the world. And it starts within our own hearts and minds. 
What if?
*The human experience is like a video game and there is no annihilation upon death. You always have free will and can choose to stay at home base or choose a different character and play the game again. You are evolution and it never stops.
What if everything you believe is true and once you realize that you have the power to change your beliefs to be more empowering and joyful, you realize that you have the power to change your entire LIFE?
What if?

Single Parenting: To Work or Not To Work. . .

I was a single mom for 14 yrs and worked full time (at some points 2 jobs) to "take care of my own children" because I didn't want to be judged as a "welfare mom" and have other people pay my bills. That said, in doing so I felt I missed out on the entire childhood of my two older sons. I always felt like I was stuck in a life that wasn't natural to me. I hated it. And my misery overflowed onto my kids. I wanted nothing more than to be home with my boys, and not to mention the amount of stress I had from having a high stress level job and then going home to do all the household tasks, trying to make sporting events etc. really made it hard to practice loving connections or even have TIME to do anything other than go crazy. 

It was hard. SO hard. 

If I could go back, I wouldn't worry so much about having a lot of MONEY to "take care of my kids", I would learn ways to live minimally and meet the basic necessities while spending as much TIME with my kids as possible. Maybe I would have went to school or found a way to work from home. . . I don't know for sure, but I DO know that I wouldn't have worried so much about what everyone else thought about what I "should" or "should not" do. I would have followed my intuition instead of what others told me was "right". I would have listened to my kids more and tried to be more aware of what my children needed emotionally and biologically, understanding that is as important as the need for food, shelter and clothing. When I was a working single mother, I was guilty of judging those mom's who lived off of "welfare", child support etc., mainly because I was SO envious of them having time with their babies but pissed because they couldn't care less about being with them. I felt they had NO idea how lucky they were. They thought *I* was the lucky one because I "wasn't having to deal with kids all day". . . and "Got to get out of the house". What I discovered over those years was that while a working mom might not be "depending" on anyone else to SUPPORT them financially, they ARE depending on someone else (friend, family or daycare) to essentially RAISE their child. So which path is truly "best" for their child? That is not for ME to decide for someone else. Let's find ways to "support" single parents instead of judging whether they choose one path or the other. And don't think for one second that having to make a choice either direction is EASY! It's not. No matter what path you choose there are going to be sacrifices. Being a single parent is hard enough without people assuming they can walk in their shoes and make it look any better. Empowering parents with tools to be the best they can be is much more productive than tossing out opinions and shaming those who walk a different path. 

This post isn't an opinion piece on whether or not I support the welfare system. It's not about that. It's about us tearing each other apart rather than building one another up. It's about seeking to implement real solutions to the epidemic of broken families so that parents feel empowered rather than judged and ultimately, connecting with our children so that they have a better foundation and have their needs met not just physically, but emotionally.  

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” - Carl Jung

Pride and Prejudice

I've been seeing a lot of meme's lately on social media about being "proud to be an XYZ" and as usual, I have tried to ignore the ignorance, but after seeing the movie "The Boy In The Striped Pajamas" yesterday with my son, I cannot ignore it anymore.

Let's take a look at the definition of the word "Pride".

"Pride: A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired."

George Carlin hit the nail on the head when he said. . . “Pride should be reserved for something you achieve or obtain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth. Being Irish isn't a skill... it's a fucking genetic accident. You wouldn't say I'm proud to be 5'11"; I'm proud to have a pre-disposition for colon cancer.” - George Carlin


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeWMtTDy8nI



Please. Let's stop the hoopla of genetic pride. Announcing that you're "proud to be an XYZ", (american/peruvian, black female/white male, heterosexual/homosexual etc.), is like saying "I'm proud to be a brunette with blue eyes and a size 8.5 shoe." It's ridiculous. You had zero participation in ANY of those things. You didn't EARN your genetics, you were BORN with them! As George Carlin says, if ya wanna be HAPPY to be an XYZ, fine! But Proud??? If you must be proud, than be proud of the kind of parent, friend, sibling or employee you are. Take pride in being a person that shows compassion to others, gives to the less fortunate, makes an effort to work on yourself to be better every day or proud to stand up for others who don't have (or haven't yet found) their voice. But remember to take your pride with a dose of humility. We all look the same inside and at the core of our genetic makeup we are ALL human. I know it feels good to "belong" to a group, but group think is one of our most dangerous enemies. If you really want to fight "terrorism", start by ridding yourself of herd mentality, group thinking and following the lies of "Us vs Them" and start thinking for yourself but not only of yourself. Recognize yourself in others but not just others who look like YOU. And instead of pointing out differences and creating superiority, notice all of the similarities we share. We ALL want and deserve to have peace, love, joy and freedom. We ALL deserve to live.

I leave you with this. . .

"The Lard Is My Shepard, I Shall Not Salt!"

I am SO sick of the Fundamentalist Foodies. . . the Nutritional Crusaders. . . Diet Deities and all things related to telling someone else what they should or should not eat. Not everyone who eats in a specific way is "dieting", has disordered thinking or is "wrong" just because they choose to add/remove certain foods. If you eat a certain way, be it Paleo, Vegan, Vegetarian, Raw or XYZ and it makes you feel GOOD, have at it!!! This is not the same as eating a certain way because you're attached to a label and ignore negative biofeedback to stay true to your chosen "way". That's when it becomes unhealthy. If you're following a labeled diet and you feel like crap, then do something else that makes you feel better. Also, ALL dieting for weightloss lowers metabolism if you're in a negative energy balance, so if you feel like shit and are experiencing hypothyroid symptoms, EAT MORE FOOD. Starving yourself, no matter WHAT foods you eat is NEVER healthy. If you choose to exclude/include sugar, meat, pasta... poop... I don't really care! What goes in your belly is really none of my business, and it's not anyone else's either. Sharing information about health and nutrition is one thing, but what sends me over the edge is watching someone who has NEVER been obese or had health problems tell someone else who IS how to not be obese or have health problems simply because they tried "XYZ" and it worked for them without any problems, so it should work for you too!" I'm over it. Down with Diet Dogma. Be it the guru's who are making money off of desperate dieters, the ones who claim to not wanna be gurus OR the ones who judge ALL people who don't eat ALL foods as "dumb dieters".

Generalizations suck!

Eat, drink and be merry!