Meet Me Beyond the Field...

I was thinking about Peace today...

What if Peace isn't the act of chronic kindness and self sacrifice, but balancing and embracing the full spectrum of human emotions with empathy?

What if Peace isn't the act of never raising our voice or always bending over backwards to be politically correct, so as to not offend others, but speaking our truth authentically and allowing others the space to do the same?

What if Peace isn't wrapping up our truth in a big pretty sugarcoated bow just to avoid being perceived as "impolite" or "creating conflict"? What if instead, we stop resisting and being afraid of who we truly are and allow our full Humanness to reveal Itself in the present moment? What if we accept ourselves just as we are?

What if Peace isn't the absence of anything, but the acceptance of all that is?

What if Peace is simply the state of neutrality and non-judgment, with no expectations or attachments; observing and allowing ourselves to be fully human and knowing at our core that that is the space where Divinity lives, waiting for us to come home?

What if Peace isn't about crucifying the ego (Note the metaphorical correlation between Jesus the Human being crucified, but resurrecting into eternal life), but embracing it as part of the whole and realizing it is necessary to have for the human experience? By shouting "crucify" to the ego, we are in resistance to a part of ourselves and that is where we suffer... in the disconnect.  We cannot have the human experience without an ego. Ego is the emotional aspect of The All, the "Mind of God". Ego is simply an earthsuit we choose to put on in order to experience what we are. People will say, "So you mean we're sad and angry and violent? That doesn't sound peaceful or spiritual and certainly doesn't sound like GOD!" But we cannot experience Peace without turmoil, love without hate or joy without despair. The full spectrum of emotions are what give us the ability to create and FEEL! Otherwise, how would we even know what joy is if we didn't first experience pain? How would we find gratitude for all "the good" if we first hadn't experienced "the bad". Peace is in the non-judgment of what is.

It is said in Christianity that Jesus was fully human and fully Divine, and yet even he told us we would do greater than he. That we too are created in the image of our Creator. In Hebrews, it talks of Jesus taking on the human nature in order to experience Humanness with empathy and compassion. He could not have done this if he didn't take on the Human Nature, which is the ego part of the Self. Jesus was the Creator experiencing Itself as Human, and blasphemy be damned, SO ARE WE.

Peace for ME is accepting who I AM; the Creator (call it what you wish) manifesting Itself in me as Human for the purpose of experience and expansion. This is Evolution. It's Knowledge becoming Wisdom. Knowledge is an accumulation of data, based on someone else's perception, something you have, something you hold. Wisdom is experiential, something you've done, it's what you ARE. You cannot claim truth of anything you have not personally experienced, even if it is claimed "a scientific FACT", for you are still ultimately taking someone else's word for it. And even IF something has been shown to be "scientifically proven", we can look at the Double Slit experiment and hopefully admit to ourselves that the role of the observer affects the outcome. This is why the only Absolute Truth that exists, is that Absolute Truth is being perceived relatively and subjectively by each individual, and all perceptions are ultimately the collective perception of the One Creator, which is you and me, we are the great I Am. We truly are a vessel, the lens for the Creator / Source / God / Universe to experience Itself, FULLY! There is nothing that is really unknown, only that not yet experienced. The more we resist who we truly are, the more suffering we are bound to endure. (We are 'bound' to suffer through our resistance of what is.)

The more we seek within and walk the path of Self discovery, the more we awaken to peace.

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other' doesn't make any sense."

-Mevlana Jelaluddin Rumi - 13th century

Peeling Potatoes

It's been a little while since I've blogged. I've been taking an extended break from social media in order to reground myself and focus on some major life changes going on this last couple of months. Normally I would share my personal experience in hopes of helping someone going through the same thing, but much of it is just too personal and sacred to share. This last couple of months have been well, . . . deeply painful and wretched.

Embracing more of my shadow and welcoming it into the light is not an easy transition. The shadow is not always so willing to join my spirit in the dance of life as lived in joyful abundance. Recently I realized I was hanging onto relationships that were toxic to me and ultimately to my family as a whole. Ending relationships, particularly familial ones, is very challenging. I did much soul searching and shadow work before making a final decision, but realized it is a decision I have been putting off for many years and I knew long ago what needed to be done, it is only by "obligation" to societal standards that I didn't end it when I should have. I ended one relationship which gave way to transforming another. Oh, sweet alchemy!

Once I ended this toxic relationship, within 2 weeks I became very ill. It was brutal. I have never been so sick in all of my life and spent the first 24 hrs feeling hijacked by my body as experienced it rid itself of major toxicity. Chronic vomiting left me dehydrated and exhausted at a level I have never felt before. I thought I was dying. After a few days of recovery, I realized that I had. The old had washed away and I had become new. I was reborn. Resurrected. I recognized the deep symbolism between the physical and metaphysical that was occurring in my experience and after a lot of rest and fluids, I felt so good and much gratitude for it all.

I am so deeply in awe of the All that it often leaves me speechless. As I sit here in my apartment, I hear the breeze blowing the trees just outside my window, the birds chirping, the maintenance men running a saw, the wind chimes hanging on my patio made of seashells and I cannot help but feel so blessed. I could easily shift my focus onto all that is seemingly going "wrong" in my life at the moment, but who wants to create more of that? Focus is everything. It's not sticking our head in the sand being Pollyanna and pretending that things aren't really happening; It's using our focus INTENTIONALLY. We have a choice.

I am so grateful to have the freedom to choose my focus and to do so with clear intention, knowing that what I choose to focus on in my experience is what I will continue to see. Both good and bad. And when I can go further and stop judging these experiences as one or the other and know that it is ALL part of a greater good. . . a higher purpose. . . the evolution of the whole. . .  than suffering loses all of its power and essentially ceases to exist. We get to choose. And having the freedom to choose our thoughts, which is the root of all judgments and feelings, is where the true freedom lies. What if we exercised our freedom and chose not to think at all? That's taking it even a step further and where meditation is often touted as a panacea of all! To stop thought means we go from doing to Being. To tap into the great "I AM" that is within and through out us all. To be the observer, not attaching ourselves to anything.... sights, sounds, feelings... To just BE with what is. This is living in the NOW.

This reminds me of a great quote by one of my favorite teachers. So, I will say Namaste and leave you with this. . .

"Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen Spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts

You have the innate right to NOT remain silent!!

Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I speak my truth come hell or high water. 

I do not like being in situations where I feel that my authenticity is being compromised by having to "keep my mouth shut". This is THE most painful thing a person could do to me. . . my own personal form of torture. When I see dishonesty and manipulation going on at a level that most people would not even recognize, it INFURIATES me to have to sit by and watch. I have tried to "trust the process" and let karma work itself out, and I KNOW that it will, HOWEVER, I can no longer remain silent if and when Spirit tells me to speak. THIS (in my opinion) is what the Bible was referring to in Mark 3:29 in regards to blaspheming the Holy Spirit and it being an unforgivable sin. Going against our inner voice is deeply painful and has many ill side effects. Also, by continuing to ignore that inner voice, over time it fades to a level of seemingly non-existence, thus we end up in our own personal hell, unable to forgive ourselves. I refuse to live in that space.

Everyone always says "Honesty is the best policy." but nobody really seems to want REAL HONESTY. It's hard. I get it. It can be very uncomfortable and cause us to look at the darkest parts of ourselves and others. But when we shy away from confrontation out of fear, we dishonor the Spirit within us and feed the shadow, which only gives it more power, both in our individual lives and collective culture. So how do we integrate our shadow selves, (the "darker" side, the "alter-ego", the "inner-bitch") into real life situations without allowing it to take control, creating more chaos and ultimately being counter-productive? 

Well, we start by not suppressing our voice of truth to begin with. It's allowing it to sit there, just under the skin... simmering... to the point it boils over and we can no longer control its behavior that gives our shadow such a bad rep! 

How would our lives be different if we honored our inner voice by speaking our truth without any attachments to others reactions? Now, please don't confuse this with me advocating walking around being a complete asshole, talking down to others and then dressing it in a blanket called "authenticity" and "listening to Spirit". Spirit isn't an asshole, but it IS honest and sometimes we don't like what we hear. Spirit guides us in truth on behalf of the highest good for all involved, even if it doesn't seem so at first. Often times our speaking the truth is a catalyst that leads to other puzzle pieces falling together and ultimately, creates a beautiful manifestation for all that is. Remember Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Now, many of you know that I am not a literal Bible believing fundamentalist Christian, but I know truth when I feel it. I will address the "gender" of my Higher Power in another post, but for now, my point is that I DO trust the process, knowing that every situation is playing out for the highest good of all, BUT I also have to honor my own personal role in this process by honoring the Spirit of Truth within ME! Remaining silent and reserved on the sidelines, hoping and waiting for it all to pass, is not living an authentic life, is NOT honoring Spirit and in fact, may very well hinder the process all together by creating more chaos and pain for all involved. 

So, today I am going to start doing my very best to honor Spirit as well as allow my shadow the space for its voice to be heard BEFORE it turns into the raging bitch who can't control her temper!!