What station is this???

I hear songs in my head almost simultaneously.....

"I see trees of green... red roses too..."
"And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world...." (Louis Armstrong)

"It's the end of the world as we know it... " (REM)

"Jesus loves me this I know...." (anyone)

"and now ya do what they told ya.... (now you're under control) and now ya do what they TOLD ya!!" (repeat over and over) (RATM)

"Here's to you Mrs. Robinson... Jesus loves you more than you will know... Oh, Oh, Oh" (Caroline Spine Version)

"some say the end is near, some say we'll see Armageddon soon... I certainly hope we will.... I sure could use a vacation from this bullshit..." ( TOOL)

"You're my world... the shelter from the rain.... in this world where nothing else is true, here I am still tangled up in you" (STAIND)

"Despite the lies that you're making, your love is Mine for the taking... My love is just waiting to turn your tears to roses.... I will be the one that's gonna hold you, I will be the one that you run to, My love is a burning consuming fire! No, you'll never be alone, when darkness comes I'll light the night with stars, hear the whispers in the dark." (SKILLET)

I could go on forever.... my life is a soundtrack to all the evil and chaos wrapped in love that we call "world." I think I may have "Spiritual ADD"... I go from feeling elated like I can change the world, earnestly seeking truth and trying honestly to apply it to my life... to sobbing so hysterically all over my couch that there's a snot line from one cushion to the other because of the evil we never hear about...... like children being used as sex slaves as young as the age of 3, people being tortured because other people "get bored..." while we're out shopping and playing house people are suffering and dying, and yes I know, there's nothing new under the son ....but I become speechless to my Creator and my knees show signs of unvaccumed carpet with embedded Pringle crumbs and for that time I feel so pathetic to have EVER complained about ANYTHING in my ENTIRE life that I don't even deserve to speak. All I can do is cry.... and know that He knows my thoughts.... and tell Him that He better "take" these people before they physically die because otherwise I can make NO sense out of such torture... and yes, to answer that question in the back of your mind, I DO feel the same way about the crucifixtion of Christ.... whether you or I believe Him to be Messiah, Savior or NOT... for ANYONE to suffer such pain is against everything I believe to be Gods will..... and just so you know I believe He felt every bit of it..... and I still can't swallow that. Some days I feel very "big"... ready to live out my mission of love and hope and spread it to the world..... others days I feel like been chewed up and spit out by a religious machine and I get so pissed off at the darkness and evil that I just WANT OUT. I don't want to believe it's happening... I don't want to hear about it.... I don't want to pray about it... hell, I don't even WANT to believe in a God that would "allow" it!!!!!! But then.... I know I need to step away from the maddness (eg. TV, computer, books) find my "quiet" place (even if it's only for a minute while I shower) go back to the Source of my being and be still.... and KNOW that He is not only God, but good.... and not only good, but LOVE... and love NEVER fails... So I try again.

Peace in, Peace out.